I’ve had seven pregnancies, and eight babies. After the first six, at some point, I was frustrated with my postpartum weight. With the button being moved on my pants during my pregnancy (kidding), my leaking breast milk and no baby.
The list goes on.
During my last pregnancy, I heard someone make an off-handed comment, that has stuck with me.
My body is neither amazing nor awful, it just is.
It was something that I was curious about. I had never heard it explained that way. The only thing I had heard was about people either “hating” their postpartum body. Or fully accepting their bodies, in this “body-positive” movement.
I started saying that “my body is just as it is” and I’m neutral about it. Not positive, not negative, just neutral.
I had always thought that I needed to “love” or “hate” my body and that there wasn’t an in-between. So I would eat when I hated how I looked. I would starve myself when I hated how I looked until I realized I could be indifferent. That I could simply accept the skin I was in. Agreeing that on days I had the capacity to I would be gentle with it. Maybe even try to show it some tenderness. Then on days I didn’t have that capacity I would try to shelter it from the storms that go on in my head, and I’d go for an 80/20 rule.
I would aim for gentleness, and a neutral state, one that allowed me to settle in. as I would come home from a long day and land down on my comfy loveseat.
So, if you are feeling negative, or hating your postpartum body, and are just looking for a soft place to land, I want to invite you to look inward and allow for that sweet gentleness you deserve. Because you do deserve it.