A topic that seems to be almost taboo in the Surrogacy Community is PPD (postpartum depression), and the “baby blues” given Surrogates don’t have a baby to be blue about, however, they do have the hormone fluctuations that come with birth, and those shifts need to be honoured, Surrogates need to be supported, and care providers need to be educated.
I had postpartum depression as a surrogate
It was nearly 20 years ago that I recall sitting on my kitchen floor at 3 am, about a week after I delivered my first surrogate baby. I was teary, overwhelmed, and struggling to make sense of it. So, what I did instead of making it make sense, is I ate. That night and morning I ate through two pints of Ice cream and half a fridge of food I’m sure. Feeling physically sick would surely be a reason to stay in bed, and hide from my family, wouldn’t it?
I mean, I did this to myself, I signed up to be a surrogate. Then told everyone I would be fine, and I promised my intended parents I’d be okay. I had unintentionally lied to everyone, or as I like to say, I didn’t know what I didn’t know.
The days passed, and it wasn’t getting any better, but life was getting busier, so I just stuffed down how I was feeling, until 6 weeks post-birth, I flew off into a fit of rage. I knew at that moment that I needed some help. That help came in an unusual form. It came in the form of the padre on the Military base where I lived. I stopped in to grab something for my kid, and he stopped me in my tracks, with a “Hey, what would you think about me praying for you?” Pardon, I said, and then I said, of course, yes, please do. That day changed my view of postpartum depression and being alone. I knew after those two minutes of prayer that I wasn’t alone.
You are not in this alone
All of this to say, postpartum depression is prevalent, not only for those carrying their own children but for those literally doing gods work, as angels carrying for others. Those were the padre’s exact work, please protect this angel, she’s doing gods work.
In Canada, almost 1 in 4 women who gave birth reported feelings consistent with either postpartum depression or an anxiety disorder. Click here to learn more about the signs of PPD and how to find support.
Sacred Surrogacy is a supportive resource and community to assist you through this profound experience. It’s our mission to honour every phase of this sacred journey. Connecting you with other surrogates to share your experience. Check out our surrogacy sisterhood to learn more about the connections we help create between surrogates.